Not Another Guide

A wonderful thing about being an expat is that you are exempt from certain obligations, like big family gatherings (if that isn’t your thing, being an expat is definitely for you!).You’re excused from elaborate gift giving (the postage!), and best of all you avoid being given gifts you don’t need (Elizabeth Arden ‘Red Door’ fragrance package…on special).

However, we all know that life is always seeking balance and where you’re exempt from one responsibility, another is sure to take its place. 

During the last week of August, and first week of September, my responsibility fell upon me…that of host and tour guide.  For 10 days straight it felt as if half of my family tree (and I do include my very close friends in that tree) descended on New York City.  I am exaggerating of course (for all those who visited – if you’re reading – I loved it!), but it was literally 10 days of navigating schedules, fielding text messages to organize meetings (which, after 3 texts back and forth,  becomes extremely inefficient.) maintaining my amended work schedule and working to keep it all fresh and interesting…..for me!

It pays that my culture is pretty laid back when it comes to travel.  I knew, when in doubt, to plant a beer or two in front of an Australian, tell them it’s a local brew and my work is done.

However, I have a great love for New York City and I am always happy when people come to town and I get to share, with the people I love, its beauty.   I get to play tour guide and tourist police - no tourists in my camp!

Hosting guests here in New York used to create a little emotional quandary for me - to play tourist guide or not?  When people are in town for the first time and, as the host, am I really obliged to see the Statue of Liberty for 5th time?  Do I have to pay the money and walk up to see the view from the Empire State Building?  And, quite frankly how do I break it to them that while under my care, under no circumstances, that they are absolutely forbidden to hop on board a red tour bus, to be herded around like……?.....well….like tourist cattle?!

Quite frankly, I have no tolerance for politeness when it comes to the red bus thing – it just simply won’t work.  Listen, I get it….well sort of – actually, not really.  Ok, I did it once when I showed up in London at 19 years old, and it seemed like the most efficient way to get things checked off the list and leave the rest of the time for drinking in pubs….and it’s LONDON!  It’s normal for me to be on a red bus (and I was 19).  Not in New York City though.  Give yourself a day and you’ll realize that you can see so many things on foot, or in a taxi at some many different angles.

Therein lies the beauty of New York City, it’s best experienced on the ground, underground and the  from a birds eye view – no-where in between, and if you want to have a view it’s always fun to have a cocktail in hand.

Hello 230 Fifth!  This is my go-to touristy, non-touristy place….which has actually turned out to be a pretty touristy place, particularly during the earlier part of the evening (confused?).  Quite simply, it has a killer view of the Empire State Building, and that’s the ONLY reason to go….unless you feel at home in Vegas, wear really tight white mini dresses and feel comfortable surrounded in gold plated décor and imported palm trees.  Oh and you don’t mind bouncers who have just enough low self- worth that they inflate their ego to compensate by playing the Velvet rope game.

But this isn’t a review about 230 fifth.

To play tourist or not?  It’s true, there are iconic sights in your home town that every visitor should see but are you really obliged to have to see them with your visitors? 

I once had to spend half a week with close family in L.A.  They flew in from Australia and I flew in from New York to meet them.  Now, I am no local to the west coast but I used to travel there quite frequently in my last incarnation as an executive, so I had an extensive inventory of local spots to fill a few days.  AND I own a travel website with dozens of information written by locals on how to spend a day in their town!!!  However, while I don’t travel like a tourist, my family does.  I am talking fanny packs, cameras as neck ties and trainers and……you guessed it; Disneyland, the sunset strip star walk and the celebrity house tour - think Griswalds family vacations (complete with walkie talkies….clearly my family was NOT my target audience!).

For a brief moment I never thought I would have in my adult life, I was flanked in the back seat of a minivan by two ‘tweens’ as I was driven through the hills of L.A., with a host of people whose sole purpose was to see where celebrities lived, and died (Sorry Michael RIP is only reserved for the less fortunate).  A concept I have never understood.  And, for a brief moment (another moment I thought I would not have in my adult life) I regressed back to being a petulant teenager who refused to take part in the family holiday; ears stuffed with headphones, dark sunglasses and absolutely would not look out of the window in a steadfast moral protest.

It became blindingly obvious that that I don't travel like my family when, during an afternoon excursion to the 'mall' I decided to separate from the group and with that decision was handed a 'walkie talkie' (not kidding!).  Trying on bras in a changing room and, just as I was marveling at the way the lace enhanced my cleavage I hear a crackling announcement come from my bag "Lyn, just checking your whereabouts.  Over"

“For the love of family.  For the love of family.  For the love of family”  It became a mantra.

FYI – my dad and I did sneak away and spend a day following Diane Swift’s guide to the South Bay Towns and had a blast!!!!

So, when you’re on your own turf, what is considered acceptable when it comes to time spent with visitors?

Personally, I don’t think you’re obliged to have to see popular sites with them and, it’s quite likely, they don’t want you too either.  The best you can do is buy them a metro card (or country specific transit card), draw out a map with great places to eat and ways to navigate, and offer little tips to help along the way.  Then, meet them out for cocktails later….or cook them a good local meal….and you can peruse the digital flicks on the small screen, courtesy laugh at their observations of your obvious and call it a day.

Obligatory acts of tourism never end well.

What are your thoughts?  What are your personal stories?

Family at DisneyLand......AKA The Griswalds on vacation.

Browsing Cocktail menu at 230 Fifth - ESB in the back ground

Cousin (left) and I enjoying a family moment....one of my 'non-tourist' members of the family!

A dear friend and I in Central Park